10 reasons to stay single: whatever your gender

No, you don’t need a partner to be okay

When I was 25, I was unexpectedly single for the first time since I was 15 years old. It was terrifying. I frantically started looking for a new partner, despite nursing deep wounds (and still being madly in love) with my ex. I needed to love someone. I needed someone to love me. I needed to fill that space in my life. The pain and sheer panic rattled on for months.

What I probably would tell myself, now, is that actually, being single for a year or two as an adult is actually good for you. More than good for you: fun. Relaxing. Empowering. Important. Better than being in a relationship. Here’s why you should be single now, if you are panicking.

1. You only want a partner because you are lonely

Bad reason to start a relationship! You make better choices about life when you’re in a good place mentally, socially, and financially. If you just want someone around, someone to call, someone to talk to, improve your social circle and get more friends. I’m very lucky now to have 5–10 really close friends who speak to me every day and meet my social needs. I much prefer that, trust me here, to only speaking to one boyfriend who, while amazing, can disappear and leave me totally isolated.