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10 ways to tank your relationship: whatever your gender

No, don’t ‘test’ your partner

Madelaine Lucy Hanson
5 min readSep 7, 2024
How many relationships have been lost thanks to stupid podcasters?

1. Do not set tests for your partner.

Most important one on this list: a test will only ever weaken your relationship. Asking a friend to hit on them, setting up a fake catfish profile to flirt with them, or deliberately setting up a trap for them to fail will only ever be read as a sign that you are unsafe, insecure, manipulative, or controlling. They will be on edge for the next ‘test’ and the next act of control. The same goes for making them do dumb quizzes or download ‘anti-cheating’ apps. You’ve ruined trust and confidence in your relationship: and for what? So you ‘know’ they are being faithful to you? Why are you dating someone you don’t trust?

2. Do not invade your partner’s privacy.

Never, ever go through your partner’s phone, laptop, or journals unless it is a matter of their own safety (drug use, suicidal behaviour, or illegal gambling). That is their sacred space to communicate with other people and have friendships and connections beyond you. It is fundamentally healthy to speak to people who are not your partner and have a strong network that can function outside of a relationship. We all need to vent to a friend, share our thoughts with a parent, and have a…

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Madelaine Lucy Hanson
Madelaine Lucy Hanson

Written by Madelaine Lucy Hanson

The girl who still knows everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. Enquiries: madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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