5 funniest mistakes male authors make about the female experience

Not all male authors, but definitely a lot of male authors

In what universe would she not have thought the scary giant insect was bad?

We don’t think about every man we encounter as a sexual or romantic partner

My absolute favourite, I always enjoy this one. Everything becomes a weird erotica, no matter what genre it is. Your female character gets on the subway, and is immediately horny about the man sitting opposite her having a nice ass. She then checks out the barista and blushes at his strong hands. Then she walks down the street and thinks about what it would be like banging a man walking a dog. She goes to the dentist and is aroused by his gloves. Then she gets in the lift and fantasises about how ripped her boss is under his suit. Then she gets to her desk and thinks about how much worse at sex her assistant would be than her husband. Lads: we just don’t experience reality like this, unless we’re in therapy for nymphomania and sexual trauma. I don’t know if you are just this thirsty, or if you think we are, but we don’t regularly think about having sex with strangers, random acquaintances, or colleagues. I’d say I’m immediately attracted to maybe 1 in 400 men. I’m thinking about whether I ordered half skimmed milk, not what your penis looks like. It would be very odd for me to think about…