5 ways to tell when a guy isn’t keen

(When he’s too polite to say it himself)

Madelaine Lucy Hanson
3 min readNov 12, 2022


“But he could just be busy,” REDACTED pleads with me over the phone. “He works so hard. Really, he does. And I think he does like me, deep down.” I close my eyes and suppress a groan. “He doesn’t though, does he?”

Working in intel, I can honestly say that we all tell ourselves little lies to stop our ego from constantly imploding. Red lipstick does work. No one noticed that you had a ladder in your tights. Everyone really respects your valuable contributions at the parish council. And of course, the man who never spends time with you, calls, makes plans, or texts, is actually very, very in love with you. Duh. This isn’t a personal attack, kitten. I’ve done it too.

So instead of sitting there making excuses, read the room. Acknowledge the elephant. Take a hint. And if you’re too blinded by love (or lust) to accept it, I’ve written the rules of engagement down. He doesn’t like you if;

1. He consistently forgets that you exist

Big promises, small delivery? Yup. Any guy, or girl for that matter, who forgets to talk to you for days on end, or that you made plans, doesn’t care about you. This isn’t any reflection on your worth as a person: maybe they really are busy, or they’re dealing with stuff at home; but it’s not love, honey. Not for you, anyway.

2. You always have to text first or ask to meet up

Sure, tell yourself they’re just bad at organising stuff, but I’m telling you this: if I don’t text you, call you, DM you or ask to see you, it’s because I don’t really want to. I might do it on a whim if asked, but it’s not something I’m serious about. The same is true for men, who turn out to be normal humans too.

3. He won’t commit to a date or time to see you next

‘Maybe’ or ‘if I can pencil you in’ isn’t love language, darling. If he sees you as wholly casual or sexual (absolutely fine! It’s 2022) rather than someone to seriously engage with emotionally, expect…



Madelaine Lucy Hanson

27 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk