Member-only story
5 ways you’re hurting yourself unnecessarily when dating: and how to make it much, much easier
We all make mistakes: but some mistakes can be avoided
1. You romanticised someone before getting to know them
We’ve all done it, so don’t feel bad! You go on one date, or texted for a bit, and now you are daydreaming about them. You’re thinking about what life with them would be like, and thinking about how happy you’re going to be with them. Suddenly: they’re not interested, turn you down, or have decided to date someone else, and it’s absolutely soul destroying. It doesn’t have to be! Make sure you remind yourself that you knew this person for a few days or weeks, and you didn’t really know who they were: and they didn’t really know you. I honestly can’t remember the names of some of the people I got upset over a year ago. When you catch yourself daydreaming or fantasising about someone you haven’t spent a lot of time with, always put on the breaks and go do or think about something else. You’re hurting over things that never happened and a person you never knew: no need! You might as well be upset that Johnny Depp doesn’t want to date you. He doesn’t know you!
