Aggression and ignorance: why you don’t need to engage with stupid

Yes: you are a good person for challenging bigotry. But no, you don’t have always have to

I’m used to encountering ridiculous aggression on the internet, particularly when trying to push back against bigotry and harmful language and micro aggressions. We all are. Some people have a much lower bar than you might on what constitutes a fair reason to launch into a barrage of abuse. Knowing when it’s ok to step away from ridiculously loaded insults and accusations is part of being an adult in 2022. So, kids; don’t feel you have to answer to every bad tempered keyboard-smasher on the web.

No: you don’t need to explain to someone why you aren’t crying white tears when explaining the ways in which American- Jewish people experience racism. You don’t need to prove you aren’t a classist bigot for opposing the racially charged traditions of white communities in the Appalachians. You don’t need to publicly explore how you aren’t a misogynist for saying men deserved equal parenting rights. You don’t need to defend the fact you aren’t a racist for saying experiential whiteness is not a homogeneous identity. You don’t need to explain why you’re not actually homophobic for being critical of the potential facets of abuse within polygamist systems. Sigh.

People love throwing the big ‘ist’ words around online because it is much, much easier and more comfortable to live in a clear cut world of villains and heroes, our world view and the bad other people’s world view, than to engage with any actual empathy or discussion. We have to live in a safe world of bad racists and good allies. Anything else implies something dark and twisted about ourselves: that we all have to educate ourselves about our bigotries and prejudices, no matter how woke and oppressed we consider ourselves to be.

Yeah, that’s right: you can be a bigoted, prejudiced, ignorant and persecutory person…