Am I A Microabuser: 5 normalised abuses you need to stop doing

Just because you aren’t punching him, it doesn’t mean it’s healthy

When we think about abuse in relationships, we tend to think about a drunken oaf standing over his timid girlfriend as he slams his fist into her face. And yes: that exists. But you can definitely be the problem and psychologically harming your partner even if you’d never dream of hitting them, raping them, or threatening them.

Let’s go through some of the less well known psychological and financial abuses you might want to think about. It’s important to remember that all of us can be abusive and show toxic behaviour in our relationships, and it’s vital we all examine our own behaviour regularly: no matter how good or kind we think we are.

Are you controlling and intimidating your partner? Why?

1. You ‘punish’ your partner for doing things that make you feel insecure or anxious.

Your girlfriend (or boyfriend) does something you’re upset about: maybe they can’t make it to a date, maybe they don’t react to something the way you wanted, or maybe they leave you on read a bit too long. It’s never something they did to deliberately hurt you: or something particularly unreasonable, but it hurts. You make them into a monster in your head: they never cared about…