Member-only story
An illustrated guide of men to avoid on dating apps: so I don’t get sued
I can’t show you their photographs, so let’s try this
Author’s Note: should you so desire to write your own illustrated guide on who you wisely advise avoiding on dating apps and why, I fully support this endeavour. So no whiny totally redundant comments about ‘what about women’: write your own, I shall critique yours just as thoroughly!
Diseased Dave: Free Genital Warts With Every Date
Dating for a boyfriend or husband? Run. STD Dave will probably be the stupidest, most duplicitous man you ever meet, dear sisters. Functionally illiterate with a libido the size of Spain, he will be slobbering, groping you and trying to fuck you instantly, sending you dick pics and demanding you show him your boobs. He will claim he is deadly serious about you and wants to ‘see how it goes’: the five other girlfriends he forgot to tell you about will be told you weren’t taking no for an answer. His whole identity is fucking and he thinks of nothing else, and he has no idea how repugnant and disgusting that makes him. He will claim he is allergic to latex or he can’t get it up with a condom on. All my friends who have caught herpes or chlamydia from a date have got it from a Dave. Of course he claimed to get tested: and…
