Bad boys and worse dates: 5 ways men go wrong with dating women

Confidence is not the same as being awful, gentlemen

Madelaine Lucy Hanson

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I’m a strong believer that men and women are identical in social ability, intelligence, and reasoning. Unfortunately, due to the cultural expectation of higher empathy and emotional intelligence from girls from a younger age, many men don’t get the same level of investment in developing intuitive social skills and reflexive expression and articulation. Boys are told not to cry, to man up, to not discuss their feelings and not to feel deeply about the emotions of others. Girls, on the other hand, are taught to place the reading and management of other people above all other skill sets. It’s a no-brainer that women are considered ‘complex and manipulative’ when we’ve often had hundreds of hours of conversations on our feelings, needs, and those of others. I digress. On this point, here are five things I think men get badly, badly wrong when dating women:

1: Confusing having ‘confidence’ with women wanting to be controlled

‘Women like confidence’. Yes: that’s true. If you’re too shy to talk to us, too wrapped up in yourself to engage with us, and too insecure to trust and open up to us, that’s not attractive. All of those are immediate markers that you are going to be a difficult partner. Shocking.

But confidence, contrary to what the dating coaches will tell you, does not mean being pushy, controlling, or rude. That tells us that you’re deeply insecure, arrogant, and disrespectful…

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Madelaine Lucy Hanson

27 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually.