Closure: why I had supper with my ex

I know- seeing him tonight, it’s a bad idea, right?

He’s great, so let’s start there. Solid kind handsome genius. This wasn’t the guy who was horrible to me, the guy who used me for sex, or the guy who cheated on me. I don’t have a smug, told-you-so story where I throw red wine over his bouquet and the waiter clapped. We just had supper. On a week day. Quietly. As friends.

To be honest, I’m not sure ex is even the right word. We never slept together. Came close, but he felt uncomfortable being with someone so young (I’m 27). But of anyone I’ve really met in the last two years, he’s the one I felt sad about losing. He’s the one I cried over. He’s the one I wished liked me back for months. That one- the ten dates and it’s suddenly over one. There wasn’t a dramatic falling out (I just teared up a bit at Green Park in the snow and told him I didn’t want to hear from him for a few months) and since then, we’d been amicable, friendly, and polite. Quick phone call to sort out a childcare problem. Checking a friend’s CV. Fast coffee. That sort of thing. I wouldn’t say we were best pals but there’s no animosity and…