Dating profile translate: what men actually mean between the lines

Harsh translate? I’ve got you!

This is a bit tongue in cheek, before any men start sobbing into the keyboard about how mean I am. But in general this is more or less how it comes across. Enjoy!

Mark is only rejected because he’s not in the top 10%, right?

1. “I want someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously”

I don’t want someone secure in herself or has good self esteem, that would be viewed as a character flaw by me. I view confidence as arrogance because I’m actually pretty insecure.

2. “I want someone who cares about health, is fit, is in shape”

I literally only care about how hot you are. That’s literally it. I evaluate women solely on how attractive they are. I am so shallow and misogynist it will make you cringe.

3. “I want a woman who is family-oriented”

I want a baby, NOW. (Go for it dude!)

4. “Love seeing my nieces every weekend…”

I kind of already have kids by proxy here and that’s going to be a thing.

5. “I want someone who doesn’t mind staying in”