Dear Madelaine; How can I stop my ex posting awful stuff about me?

All letters are confidential and have been edited to keep the sender’s identity private.

Dear Madelaine,

My ex boyfriend keeps posting awful things about me on social media, about what a bad person I am or intimate details of our relationship. What would you do? It’s a living nightmare.

Sincerely,

Anne Nonymous

Dear Anne,

How childish! Anyone who posts passive aggressive post relationship content (after year 8) is a really immature individual. So please don’t feel embarassed by it; he is the one at fault. If you haven’t spoken to him about it already, it might be a good idea to do so.

Confront him- not angrily and make it clear that while you may have hurt him, you think it is best you both move on and past this. When people do this it is usually because they are still hurting and want to get back at you- make it completely clear you won’t engage with it. Don’t comment on it, don’t get other friends to do so. He might be doing it just to get a connection with you, so that is fuel to the fire. If you can block him, or unfriend him, again that’s a good way of signalling to him you are not going to continue any rapport further.

If it has negative impacts on your life- maybe you have mutual friends who are shocked by your behaviour in the relationship- talk calmly and reasonably with them about how he is hurting and that he might be saying things he does not mean or will regret. Make it obvious to your friends that you have an issue with what he is doing, but try not to create ‘teams’ in your social circle.

Again, I’m really sorry he’s doing this.

Love,

Madelaine

Written by

24 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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