Dear Madelaine: How do I speak up about my abuse?

Dear Madelaine,

How do I speak up about rape/abortion without the fear of being name and shamed in public posts by angry misogynist men so that future employees can see them? I once made a post warning people that one in four women are raped and I woke up to a post naming me and a bunch of comments calling me ugly and fat, stupid etc.

I also made one about abortion and some skinny white British YouTube ~male~ nobody (because everyone wants men’s opinions on abortion) made a post threatening to beat me, (like lol honey I’d fucking knock you out with one) and a load of death threats about a thousand all calling me disgusting, a murderer, saying they would kill me, it was like a fucking catholic discussion or something. It was eventually reported and taken down as it was so hateful. Wish I remembered his name so I could call him out but he’s a bit of a nobody, but he was twenty something and I was sixteen.

Ann Nonymous

Dear Ann,

I get asked this question so often it makes me sad. The amount of abuse women get online for talking about this stuff is grotesque and I would like to apologise on behalf of the morons who think that sort of commentary is acceptable.

Ultimately, the best thing would be for us to take online abuse seriously. Hate speech, death threats and malicious content are all serious things and society needs to stop laughing them off as ‘a few trolls’. Unfortunately, I think those days are in the far future: even my parents generation don’t really understand how terrifying it is to recieve twenty comments baying for your blood.

One thing you can do is publicly expose your attackers. This puts the power back in your hands and shows that you will not be cowed into silence. Screenshot everything, post it with their name, so everyone knows, employers and all, how that person talks to women who speak out about rape and abortion. Have no mercy, show no mercy. I’ve had men beg me to take down screenshots of what they have messaged me in private, and that just goes to show how weak and feeble these individuals are.

Dear Ann- please do not shut up. Do not lock yourself away and close your mouth and accounts. That only makes their abuse worthwhile. Be strong in yourself, be powerful and be the woman who doesn’t let the evils in society go unnoticed. Too many people are silent through fear and do not allow yourself to be one of them.

Be the woman I know you are.


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