Everything that works in getting over someone, and what doesn’t

I’ve tried lots of random hacks and this works

Madelaine Lucy Hanson
5 min readMay 25


So something is over, blech. We’ve all been there. A situationship where you caught feelings for an idiot, a partner turned out to be a sociopath, or maybe you just got ditched for being way too into early Mesopotamian literature. It happens to the best of us. Anyway. You need to move on! There is life after Person A. Here’s what works (and what doesn’t).

  1. Accept that you’re going to slip up.

If you read nothing else on this list, this is the one. If you’ve spoken every day for six months, yeah, you’re going to struggle to accept zero contact! That’s okay and not something to beat yourself up over. Instead of getting upset with yourself, be kind. What made you text them? What were you hoping for? What do you need to do to stop it happening again?

2. Make things easier for yourself.

If you can, block them. That way you won’t be checking your phone and feeling sad. Not ready for that? Delete their number. It’ll make it harder when you desperately want to tell them about your new friend at work and realise that’s a bad idea ten minutes later. I honestly feel so much better having done this.

3. Fill your life with other people.

No, you don’t have to shag someone. Make new friends, join a new club, join a new society. See people who make you happy, and reconnect with family and mentors. I promise you that the more you fill your life with new people, the less devastating the loss of that relationship will be.

4. Work out what your anxious attachment is really about.

You’ve already made a decision: you don’t want to be with this person. You don’t like how they treat you. You already know they don’t care about you, or won’t give you what you need. So what is making you doubt that? Why are you really going back on that? Is it self esteem? Are you worried about finding someone you care as deeply about? Do you think you deserve to be treated that way?

5. Recentre the narrative back on to you.

I know. Your brain is currently going Dave doesn’t think I’m pretty enough, Dave used to like me and now he



Madelaine Lucy Hanson

26 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk