We can take from this that acceptance causes no harm, but non-acceptance causes harm — so why are so many people angry with parents for accepting their trans kids? If these people were genuinely worried for the children’s well being then they would look at the re…
Taryn De Vere
Firstly, I am absolutely repulsed by the abuse (verbal and physical) transfolk and children receive. Without exception. Kindness and empathy must always take place over opinions and political/religious beliefs, especially regarding those who need love and support through development.
However, you asked a question so I’d like to try and answer it. I believe the fear is that we have such strong, bizarre gendered roles within ‘children culture' that we worry that simply enjoying wearing a dress or playing pretend as a girl/boy might be interpreted as the need to identify as the other gender.
I for example, wanted to cut off my breasts at 9 or 10 and I wanted badly to remove any ‘girly' things from my identity- I refused to wear a bra even at 13, I was horrified by the idea of waxing or plucking my eyebrows and I cried over my body becoming sexually female. I was outspoken, political, opinionated, interested in space and history. Not girly things (although I loved dolls and historical costumes). Was I actually a boy?
No. I know now that being girly isn’t weak, I don’t need to hate the ‘sexual' features of my body, and that liking girl stuff or getting sexual attention doesn’t make me stupid, less human or a babymaker. I had deep, deep ingrained misogyny from years of ‘girls are stupid/weak/crybabies/housewives’.
I associated femininity with weakness, vulnerability, constant sexualisation. I refused to be weak.
I’m from a normal middle class family, normal upbringing, privileged schooling. I still held these views just through exposure to pink/blue culture. Gender was something I had to change in myself to simply be smart, safe from abuse and respected.
I worry (I hope you can see why) that other girls like me might also go through this and interpret it as the need to be male. I didn’t need to be male. I needed to learn women were strong, powerful, human, different, able to like science and hate waxing…not a hated stereotype of prissy pinkdom.
I’m not in the closet about my identity. I love my figure, my gender, my body, my sexuality, my science degree.
But I do worry about cultural misogyny where being a girl is so widely seen as weak, or a boy who wears a dress must need to be differently assigned.
(That being said, with the correct psychological analysis and support, I totally support the acceptance of transgender minors).