How to actually find someone (and it’s not what you think)

Get on the apps? Off the apps? Pray? Manifest?

I’ve noticed, of all the people I’ve felt deeply for in my life, I met most of them when I wasn’t really looking for anyone. When dating wasn’t my top priority. When I had other things to do, dream about, plan, and contemplate. In fact, whenever I’ve genuinely set my sights on myself, and not someone else, my life has got dramatically happier and more exciting.

When you aren’t hoping someone will make life better, you make your own life better

I’m not saying you should actively stop going on dates or stop being open to meeting someone. Love is a risk. Life is a risk. You have to take that first step, make that move, get out there. You’ll never find someone if you’re staying in every night, not picking up the phone, and not agreeing to just give it a shot for supper, a walk, a coffee, a lunch. But: and this is important, when you make it your main goal, your job, your fixation, you make it much, much harder for yourself.

The ‘Coppelia Complex’

Note: Coppelia is about a ‘perfect’ mechanical doll who fails to be ‘perfect’ to…