How to not write trash sci-fi

It’s a pretty massive genre, but here are some definite rules

I am so, so bored of going to a film/book event and being forced to march through hours of predictable, sexist rubbish. So here are some rules:

1. Don’t call anyone Electron, Photon, Proton or any other science word you don’t understand

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Everytime I hear ‘Lord Proton’ I do this

2. Don’t call your villain Blacksoul, Darkbreaker, Bloodstorm or anything else completely contrived and cringy

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Doctor Badguy turns out to be be badguy

3. If you have to spend a paragraph describing a woman’s body in her costume, I hate you

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She rose her arms her pert red bikini existing in a red colour

4. Don’t put it in space because you are too lazy to invent a new environment

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Eh, it’s a place

5. You really don’t need to include 43 pages on how your fictional city runs

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And over here is where the aqueduct is

6. Don’t you dare kill off your character’s parents just to make them have a sad backstory

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FATHERRRRRRRR

7. Why is the villain evil: sort out that motive, guys

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Yeah…but….why

8. You better have a bloody good reason for sexing up every female soldier

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HA no woman would fight in this, we’d be running with our hands over our bras

9. Sticking ‘ia’ at the end of a google-latin search for hope is not a woman’s name

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*shudders*

10. I don’t want to read/watch thirteen fight training scenes where people pose with knock off lightsabers

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Cool can we get back to the story now

11. Dragons have never, ever been written well into a book aimed at anyone over 12

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You can call him Gladuron, but I still see this

12. Spare me the flashbacks to a scene from chapter 3, please

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As my father once said in Chapter 3, para 12

13. Hybrids don’t make them idea clever. Spacesports. PoliticalTheatre on Mars. Yeah, it still sucks

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What

14. The Hunger Games and that knock off one with the girl who had to join a faction are kind of overdone. Try something other than teen girl kills people in totalitarian state

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NO MORE STOP

15. You are working in a genre where time, space and history can be different. Why is your main character a white guy waging a war against badder white guys in a territorial disagreement?

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Seen it.

Written by

24 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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