How to sink your business in 6 days or fewer

My advice on bad leadership and worse business sense

Have you struggled to steer your business onto the rocks this quarter? Are your staff unflinchingly loyal and hardworking, no matter what you do? Are you suffering from a bad case of profit? Then this is the self-help article for you. Here’s my advice on how to be the CEO used as a punchline at dinner parties for years to come.

Step 1: Make sure that you are surrounded by yes men. Or yes women. It’s important to have diversity in your close circle of terror-stricken nitwits.

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Step 2: Punish anyone and everyone for even the smallest of indiscretions. If you can’t find any, make some up.

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Step 3: Lie repeatedly and consistently to your clientele, to ensure your income is constantly on the line. (This will have the added bonus of frightening your staff)

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Step 4: Be incredibly unreliable, tyrannical and practice changing your mood dramatically every few hours to keep people on their toes.

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Step 5: Undermine talent and creativity as being a threat to bureaucratic conformity.

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Step 6: Resolutely believe that you are above self reflection and criticism in all regards.

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Written by

24 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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