I don’t want to be attracted to older men: but please just accept me as I am
Some people are gay. I like older guys
“You know what would be hilarious,” I imagine Aphrodite said to her cherubs one day. “If we make this girl grow up to never feel attraction to anyone under 40.” And then they all fell about laughing, because that would be so ridiculous and fun to watch. Hello reader, I’m that girl.
Believe me, I don’t want to be. I deeply envy my friends who can sigh and weep and wail over nice, normal, 20-something year old Blake. I wish I could fall in love with a kind 28 year old guy who hadn’t gone through a horrifying divorce and didn’t have four little brats every other weekend. I wish I could watch a movie and experience the same lust girls my age feel about Timothy Chamalet. But I don’t. I feel like I’m watching my grandson. “What a handsome young fellow!” my brain says, adjusting my knitting. “I do hope he’s staying out of trouble and finds a nice young girl to settle down with.” There is no sexual element to it at all. I feel the same way you probably feel watching Maggie Smith. Quiet good will. Best wishes. Warm platonic regards.
What’s wrong with me? Who the fuck knows. Boarding school? Teenage boys being dicks to me before my glow up? Watching Jane Eyre in Year 8? I’ve gone over and over it with my…
