I work out for an hour a day. And I’m still not going to weigh myself

Gamifying better goals with an eating disorder

So this month, I have run, HIIT, walked and danced my way through over 30 hours of exercise. I’m not a gym bunny, in fact my idea of gamified results in PE was how little energy I could expend without getting beaten by an enraged gym coach. But I’m doing it. Every day. And I’ve never felt better. I’m stronger, I’m faster, I’m more resilient, and more assertive. I don’t think I could wrestle a bear, but I could definitely chase a duck. And that’s good. It’s particularly good for me.

Why? Because every other time I’ve tried to get into shape, I’ve starved myself.

And I’m good at it. I’m really good at it. I can eat 250 calories a day, I can elaborately create fake meals I’ve just eaten to concerned friends, I can force myself to eat nothing but a tablespoon of couscous and three teaspoons of peas for three weeks, I can sleep from the second I get home to avoid the gnawing hunger, and I can punish myself with days of starvation after having to eat a slice of cake or bowl of pasta. I can be so unbelievably cruel to myself that I drop a stone in two weeks. Disordered eating? Honey. Nobody does it better.