If you've been in therapy for three years and you're not seeing any improvements in your self esteem or mood, I strongly suggest you see another practitioner or possibly look into medication for a depressive disorder with your health team. I think that goes without saying. And this 'straight men have a biological need to be needed by women' rot is what is causing so many mental health problems for men in the first place. Total pseudoscience. Everyone likes feeling included and needed in a group. Quit centring biology on straight men and you might be able to unpick some of your own anxieties and insecurities about yourself.