Is he really perfect, or are you just hurting?

Your ex/crush is probably not flawless, angel

“Self blame comes in handy when a relationship no longer works and leaving feels too painful. If we convince ourselves that someone is being hurtful or insensitive because of our own moral failings, there is still hope. If I’m the problem, then the happiness is entirely in my hands” – Craig Malkin, 2015

You probably know this story: your friend is in tears, and her heart is breaking. But you are completely baffled because the subject of such intense love is really boring/mean/lazy/obviously bad for her. And as she clings to your lapels and sobs, you try to hide the absolute confusion on your face. What the hell is she thinking?

Endorphins and dopamine do weird things to your brain and interpretation of reality. Sure, he’s charming: but he’s untrustworthy and unfaithful. Sure, he’s rich: but he was unkind to you and an alcoholic. Sure, he’s handsome: but he’s shallow and impulsive. Sure, he’s ambitious: but he’s bitter and selfish. Sure, he’s romantic: but he’s dishonest and manipulative. I could go on. When you’re in love, the bad bits blur out.

And there are always bad bits.