Memento Cordolium: thoughts on ending a mistaken relationship

The lessons to learn from dating the wrong person

There will be a few moments in your life that will be truly beautiful. A kiss in the darkness as the seasons shift around you. The tight longing in your throat when you walk towards someone. Feeling hands reach for you when your soul breaks in two. But when that beauty becomes warped behind grief, loss, heartbreak and bitterness, it can be hard to know how to feel about those memories. Were they always an error? A weakness? A mistake?

When you’ve felt deeply, you hurt deeply. It’s hard to match up the person you shared that warmth, closeness and intimacy with the person you’re walking away from. To let go of those dreams, to walk past the places you shared, and to accept you’re never going to hear another kind word or beautiful insight again is hard. You have to bury and mourn the corpse of the person you knew while their body carries on breathing. And that’s even harder when you realise- as many women do- that the person you share those memories…