Men use dating apps incorrectly: here’s how to get the best results

Success is quality, not quantity, lads

Beloved, are you an average man? Would I be indifferent to you if we made eye contact in the bread aisle? Would you describe your eye colour as sort of normal looking, like your hair and body? Would I probably forget your name after you spoke to me for thirty seconds in June about the weather? Would you never get caught by the police because you were an average looking man with an average build and an average height? Do you have a very forgettable job at a forgettable workplace in a very forgettable city? Do you rent an average studio flat and aspire to learn the guitar averagely one day? Do you dress in clothes you would describe as fine? Are you firmly in the percentage of meh?

Fear not! I’m here to help. Yes, you too, can get a date. Grab a pen. This is going to take some changes.

from me, the oh queen of dating

Accept that dating apps are for finding a partner, not a quick bonk

Sorry lads: 90% of women are looking for a husband or boyfriend on those apps, not one off hook ups or situationships. So if that is all you want, I strongly suggest taking yourself to a fetish site or hook up app. You will be way…