Member-only story
Never be friends with someone you’re in love with: it’ll hurt both of you
The only way you’re going to move on is by applying distance
Before you rush to the comments calling me an evil bitch: I’m not talking about a person you have a bit of a crush on, someone you slept with in 2008, or a person you would quite like to possibly date. Of course you can be friends in those situations. I’m talking about someone you have deep, intense, sexual-romantic long-lasting feelings for. Someone you think about constantly. Someone your heart still races for whenever they text or call you. Someone you’re terrified about losing forever. Someone you sexually desire all the time. Someone you were previously married to, or in a serious relationship with, and can’t bear to imagine with someone else. That way, friend, only leads to pain, anger, and frustration for all.
I know you think you can immediately be platonic with your ex girlfriend, or the man who just confessed that he was madly in love with you: so did I. I’d have defended myself fiercely too. But I can control myself, you’re thinking. I won’t actually act on my feelings! It would hurt us more not to be friends. It would be childish not to hang out at all any more. I can handle it! They can handle it! They say they want to be friends too! They begged me to stay friends with them! I really don’t want them out of my life!
