Parasocial: are we unfriends now?

Boundaries, the internet, and ukulele apologies

I had the slightly surreal realisation recently that people I met in real life knew who I was entirely through my words online. Not because I’m a global celebrity, but because, with my small following, people think they know me. Who that person is: that online Madelaine, is a stranger. She exists through your interpretation. She is whatever you brain fills the gaps in with. She is not someone who I know well. She’s a projection.

I regret that, and resent that, sometimes. I wish I had kept quiet about a few things, I wish I’d been a bit more private about specific interactions or concerns, and I wish I’d shared less about how I felt about specific people who had frustrated or annoyed me. Nothing terrible. I’m very fortunate to have never had ‘internet drama’ over anything I’ve done or said. I’m a boring quiet centrist. But it’s a bit alarming to be approached by a man who knows your favourite drink (black coffee, extra strong) your deepest fears (snakes, abandonment) and how you feel about Brexit…