Pedestals and Limerence; why the men I have rejected like me so, so much
No, you aren’t in love with me, you don’t know me
I’m a very cautious woman. I don’t really like taking a chance on someone new, and I don’t really like opening up and trusting someone with my feelings until I trust them to really like me back. Because when I fall in love, it’s intense. It’s really deep. It takes me months, if not years, to let go of someone I love and fully move on. I know that about myself, so I take my time. But, unfortunately, I’ve noticed a lot of men only really want me when I’m not that into them. When I’m cold. When I’m not interested. When I’m remote. Which feels awful.
There’s an element of green grassism here: I’m still glamorous if you have only seen me in my evening gowns, false lashes, and red lipstick. I’m still interesting if I haven’t told you all my stories, jokes, dreams, and experiences yet. I’m still mysterious if you haven’t seen me take a client call in my bathrobe while I eat a cornetto. I get it. That part isn’t confusing for me: you haven’t seen the ugly, weird, sad, dark, or draining parts of who I am. The parts that make me a human, not an elusive fantasy.
Thing is, I’m always going to come off that pedestal. Every woman is. Because I’m a person. I get tired, I get sunburnt, I get flu. I’m going…
