Should you tell your friend you fancy them? It’s complicated

We’ve all dreaded the “I need to tell you something”

I contemplated telling a man that I would never be sexually attracted to him last week. Normally I’m very averse to such directness and rely on men picking up on my body language and avoidance of the sexual or physical. I’d known this friend had fancied me for a few years and never thought much of it: so what? Lust was hardly anything new. Harmless. But as this friend ran his hand down my bare shoulder and down my arm and told me I looked gorgeous, I felt revulsion fizz inside my veins and up through my spine. I made a face and leaned away.

This face means no

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to be unkind. As soon as I got home, I asked my flatmate if they felt that I should end the friendship when I knew he fancied me. I didn’t want to lead him on. “Fuck no,” they said, not bothering to look up. “He’s a grown up, he needs to read the room and leave if you’ve never reciprocated and it…