Sorry Feminism, you are destroying real chivalry

Why would I want an equal who respected me when I could have a guy who could joust?

Feminism has many flaws. But the one that annoys me the most is the constant push for considerate, kind and reflective male behaviour. Who the fuck wants that?

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Mhm baby you know I want that penchant for causing human death

I don’t want a man who talks to me about my interests. How can I respect a man like that when it is in my DNA to want a man who stomps around, covered in mud, calling me ‘woman’? All the science, all of it, every science ever, proves this is an actual fact and not some weird populist construction concluded on by powerful muddy men.

It is ridiculous to even ask men to maybe consider treating women as actual humans who contribute to the modern environment. They want us to be damsels. It would not be remotely detrimental to the global network (or annoying) to have every woman running around in gossamer weeping over lovers yonder. A man can’t respect a woman who behaves like a human. They want you to be completely helpless, a drain on resources and an endless goal of quests to boasts about over a lager. Less Princess Peach, more Princess Useless. No man would actually love a woman for her intelligence, her vision, her strength, her independence or her ability. What men really want is a five foot six toddler with boobs. Right? It’s the science.

And, visa versa, you don’t want a man who treats you like a human being to be loved for your own personality and not appearance. You want a man who is a bloody success story on a horse and a great punchline at the end of a battle. You want someone who treats you like an invalid, denies you your freedoms to reinforce his own masculinity, and ultimately sees you as a helpless bimbo in a slightly inappropriate nightie. Not someone to support you, grow with you and share love with. To protect you from an (improbable to appear these days) dragon. That’s your dream. That’s your perfect man. SCIENCE.

BUT FEMINIMINISM, yes, feminisminsm, denies you that. It has suggested that endless warring and brute-force might not be the best way for humans to progress, thus denying men the self esteem of being ace with an axe. Therefore, they are forced to slap your ass in office meetings, use you for casual sex, and cheat on you endlessly. Can we really complain when these poor men are clearly just frustrated in a society that won’t let them wreak havoc and mass murder anymore? Or subjugate women to helpless invalids with no rights for the sole purpose of bearing sons? Take that, FEMINISM.

We need to start accepting chivalry (treating women like they are stupid and weak, or being nice to them for the purpose of sexytime) and stop the discussion on equal, empathetic and modern romance.


Written by

24 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually.

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