The dangers of slapping TikTok Narcissism onto anyone you dislike

Your ex isn’t a narcissist for blocking you

There’s a trend on Medium that always makes me roll my eyes: applying “narcissism” to absolutely everything. He didn’t want to date you again? Narcissist. She likes taking selfies? Narcissist! He didn’t like your criticism of his singing? Narcissist. She was bossy at the PTA meeting? Narcissist!

NPD, as any real victim of someone with it will tell you, is really not when someone is an arrogant prick in the office. It isn’t when a woman is vain about her public profile and social media. It isn’t when a man is very obsessed with his hairline. You’re confusing very normal, common character traits all of us have to some degree (vanity, insecurity, sensitivity) with a serious personality disorder.

Someone who talks about themselves a lot is not a narcissist: they often just communicate that way. Culturally speaking, outside of the US, it is widely seen as impolite to ask lots of questions about a stranger, so many Middle Eastern and South Asian communities “echo” their own experiences back to prompt discussion. This is not…