The Definitive Guide to Getting Over Your Ex
We all love lists. Here is a list. With pretty pictures.
- Remind yourself of every time he made you miserable. Now imagine he said that horrible thing in a Trump voice. He’s a hugeeee mistake. I know it. You know it.
2. Throw away everything that reminds you of him. Flamboyantly. Let it go like a petri dish full of ebola.
3. Delete all of his messages, his texts, his emails. Do it. You make yourself MissHavisham.outlook.com dwelling in it.
4. Hang out with your friends. Grin over salads. Ahahaha. Aren’t you a goddess. Who doesn’t need a mortal human wanker bastard.
5. Flirt like hell and be a wild sexy vixen. A tambourine is a good accessory.
6. Look amazing. Not to make him jealous. Just because you are amazing.
7. Realise that you are the person who controls your life and destiny, and you were happy before, and will be again. He loved you once and that means you can and will be loved again. Don’t worry: this isn’t the end. Just the end of chapter Dave.