The (easily avoidable) stupid mistake men make on their dating profiles

Oh yes, I took screenshots

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a dirty promiscuous whore sometimes, gentlemen. I am not here to slut-shame you. Wanting to get railed in a motel by BadBecks91 next Tuesday is not a crime, and I am not here to condemn you for it. I applaud you for your self-knowledge and your exploration of your sexual pleasure. Own your self-narrative, king, live your slutcore era. I hope you use a condom and tell your BFFL Steve to call the police if you aren’t home by 11am, but other than that, may your slatternly whoredom bring you much bliss and satisfaction. You want a quick, anonymous bang. So what? So do we sometimes; very few women can claim not to have got bored or insecure a couple of times and drunkenly slept with an Average Available Andrew. Nothing wrong with that. We all need a harmless self-esteem boost occasionally.

But could you please just put that in your dating profiles? Confess you just want to shag around, no strings? Is that acceptable to you, sir? You’d save us all so much time and be far, far more successful in your noble quest to bang as many women as possible. So stop putting stuff like this:

Situationship Alert: How to say “I’m going to mess you around” in one sentence or less

We’re not totally stupid, most beloved brothers. We don’t expect you to get down on one knee and propose after buying…