The fifteen minute rule: what to do when you really want to call your ex

Or text them, or check their social media, or send a fax

Understood: you’re deeply lonely and you really, really want to text Barry. Sure, you know Barry would have called you if he wanted to, and you know Barry isn’t going to want to hear from you. And you know that getting in touch with him again is a really bad idea and will reset all your healing. But the urge is suddenly overwhelming and extreme. Worse than a hunger or craving, it’s all consuming. How can you resist?

I’ve got a life hack, ladies. Or gentlemen. And it’s a two step deal.

Just try this first

1. Set a timer on your phone for 15 minutes.

Do this right away, the minute there’s a credible urge to break down and actually reach out. Don’t sit there staring at it: get up and do something. It doesn’t matter what that is: tidy the kitchen, dance to music, load the washing machine, sort your handbag out, or go through your work emails. Just do something that is…