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The ‘freakwave’ phenomenon: why you spiral and say things you regret
Have weird emotional ‘lashing-out’ sessions? Don’t worry
Stop me if this has ever happened to you: you’re dating someone, or friends with someone, and they do something that really upsets you. You feel a huge flood of intense emotions, and cut them off, end the relationship, or push them away. You always wake up the next morning mortified and ashamed of how you behaved, and wanting them back. What’s going on? Are you insane? Why can’t you control yourself? Is it BPD?
The good news is, if you’re in your teens or twenties, that you’re probably just still working out healthy emotional regulation and relationships. The other good news is, if you aren’t, that you can work on this and stop it happening: we never stop learning how to be better and more adept at communicating and managing our emotions. I definitely used to do this when I was in my teens and early twenties: nothing violent or abusive, but definitely sulk, push away, or storm out on people unnecessarily. And feel deep shame and regret afterwards.
I used to feel the most overwhelming tidal wave of anger, rage, injustice distress, pain, and anxiety when someone I cared about appeared to have rejected me or criticised me. Insert waterworks and insistences of abandonment or accusations of…
