The hilarious insults misogynists have thrown at me online

I’m ugly, I look like a man, and men only like me because I’m pretty

My beloveds, I do not like men. I love men. I love their ingenuity, their kindness, their humour, their creativity, their warmth, their intelligence, their patience, and their loyalty. I love the way you get so excited at the hardware store and your unabashed glee when your football team wins. My heart flutters with delight when I see you help an old person across the street, and my bosom heaves when you pull off your jacket when I’m shivering. I adore you, my dearest brothers, most venerated possessors of a third protrusion. How much irrefutably darker and colder the world would be without you. None of that, however, sits awkwardly for me with my vocal disdain of wife-beaters, rapists, misogynists, sexual predators, paedophiles, chauvinists, Neo-Nazis, or traffickers. As I am certain, dear reader, if you are not one of the above, you will concur most wholeheartedly with. Or so you’d think.

Misogynists, as you’ll know from my very moderate, non-extreme, nor radical article’s comment sections, throw a massive tantrum and take enormous offence to the idea that rape, harassment, or smashing your sex slave’s face in might possibly be worth discussing. And direct their visceral indignance at me with some astonishingly detailed lore and fan fiction. Don’t worry: I get paid when they do, so I’m doing fine. But I thought it might be enjoyable to go into some of my favourites.