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The Menendez Problem: when terrible things happen to terrible people
How do we talk about unlikeable victims?
Firstly, let me state two things. I absolutely believe the Menendez brothers were horrendously abused by their father. I also absolutely believe they killed their parents for money. Both those things can be true. Because here is the thing: abuse victims are not always likeable good angels. I know that feels really uncomfortable to even think about, but it is fundamentally true. They don’t always ‘handle it well’. They aren’t always “just trying to survive”. They don’t always have amazing personalities and make kind, considerate, warm decisions after what happened to them. In fact, it is extremely possible to be a sadistic, greedy, homicidal brat and endure rape, molestation, domestic violence, neglect, and torture. Unfortunately, as a society, we love black-and-white thinking and find the idea that a monster could even have a sympathetic history, or a sympathetic person could ever do monstrous things, extremely offensive and taboo.
