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The most important lesson you’ll ever learn: your own emotional autonomy
Whatever you tell yourself, you control your life
I went out with a friend on Saturday night, one who had recently overcome a cheating ex, hospitalisation, and a difficult run in with her own mental health. As we sat there in the Soho dark, drinking cocktails that tasted of icing sugar and drain cleaner, we stumbled on the same ruminations on life. “No matter what is happening to you,” she shouted over the EDM, “you have control over how you choose to behave. You. No one else.” I nodded enthusiastically, spilling what I think was vermouth down my top. “Always behave well. Always.”
“No matter how angry you are-”
“-Or hurt”
“-Or heartbroken-”
“Behave well. Behave well and you’ll never regret it.”
It’s easy to take the momentary high of being bitter, cruel, or vengeful over the boring, flat sensation of refined silence and quiet dignity. It’s easier not to apologise, not to make amends, not to offer up a resolution. When someone has hurt you, it feels like you can justify a counter attack. That easy insult about their appearance, their flaws, their shortcomings. That rising satisfaction of a spilt secret, criticism, powerplay, or a unnecessary recollection. It feels…
