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The Tale of Prince Charming: honest edition
You knew this was coming
Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a handsome prince. Well, really, most of the attraction came from the ‘prince’ bit, although no one dared to tell him that, and his mother had always assured him that he was the handsomest and most fascinating boy in all the land. A more neutral source, such as the ambassador to the Mountain Kingdom, would have described him as a self-reported 5ft 10, unremarkable, a forgettable face, and in need of a more regularly laundered codpiece. But he was a prince, and he had a castle, as he was constantly telling the ladies as he showed off his steed outside the local tavern.
One day, Prince Charming came across a beautiful young girl, and I’m using beautiful here as an accurate assessment of her appearance. Young would also be correct, some might say too young, because quite why a 32 year old prince would be super into a teenager is admittedly a conversation worth having in a non-dictatorial state. But he picked her up on his noble steed and made sure she knew that her parents and friends ‘just wouldn’t get it’ because ‘people don’t understand our secret love.’ As he enthralled her with his insightful takes on why peasants should be more sensible with their coin and how wenches should simply choose better husbands, the young maiden came to believe he loved her…
