The therapy that worked: and the friends I ditched along the way

Sure, but are you happy?

I’m very, very bad at upholding boundaries. Incredibly bad. I’m the sort of person who, if punched in the face, would question what I could do to make the person who punched me feel less angry with me. I’m the kind of person who, if you massively betrayed, would apologise for getting upset about it. I’m the kind of person who, while watching you cross a massive personal red line, would try to explain why my line didn’t matter anyway. A pushover. Not in the kind, saintly fashion: I’m definitely just a huge coward when it comes to actually stating and addressing problems and dislikes. Oops.

This really hit home a little while ago when I realised that there were a few people in my life who were repeatedly, consistently, and regularly making me very unhappy. Not monsters, mind: ordinaryish, interesting people who probably have their own fuckedupness that would explain a lot if I decided it was worth engaging with. I’m not talking about beating me up or threatening me mind, one of my great strengths has always been my ability to run like a cowardly emu from the merest glimmers of physical conflict, just being…not great friends. Letting me down one too many times. Not bothering to engage with me outside of their own problems and needs. Disappearing for huge stretches of time…