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When is a struggling relationship worth fighting for?
Rarely, to be brutal to you
If you’re unhappy, and I mean regularly and for more than a few days, your relationship is probably not going to work out. That’s not to say you have to get a divorce, have to end it, or have to have a break, especially if you’re just going through a rough time, but you do have to ask yourself whether the problem is fixable. Because, to be honest darlings, most of the time, it isn’t.
When we are fundamentally on different pages about communication, fidelity, lifestyle, workload, or expectations: it’s just not going to work out. You might try to communicate differently, and I might try to be more in line with what you need in a partner, but that’s hard. That’s a big, big commitment and not something you can iron over with a few weeks of effort. That means a consistent effort to become a different person for your partner.
But be honest with yourself: can you really commit to spontaneous affection if it doesn’t come naturally? Can you really become organised and tidy? Can you genuinely behave with the same intensity and effort you did at the start of the relationship, authentically? For some people, that answer might be yes. But for most humans, a radical behaviour/personality rehaul is a huge challenge. Wanting your partner to feel differently about you…
