Why dating isn’t working out for you: the mistakes I’ve definitely made

I’m absolutely not bashing you: these are easily done

I’m going to humiliate myself publicly here because I hope that this can help even one woman: if you can learn from my mistakes without making them yourself, maybe we can speed up this horrible, messy and unpleasant thing we call online dating. If you’re about to say ‘these are obvious’, congrats Barbara, you’re less of a nitwit than I am! Good luck out there everyone and may the odds be ever in your favour!

Sometimes, you’re the problem. And sometimes, your actions are the problem!

Going on too many dates

Sorry lads, you can’t slut-shame me here: I didn’t sleep with them! But I did have dates with three or four men in a week when I was really anxious about finding someone. I’d have a coffee with Michael, a supper with George, and then a morning walk with Benjamin. And this did not work at all: I was trying to remember who worked in insurance, who had just come back from Thailand, who had the kid called Lydia, and who I had actually enjoyed seeing or why. I was sabotaging my own success by diluting what should be an exciting, romantic experience into a Cluedo game of appraisals with strangers. Sure: you might be thinking, if I meet loads of men, I’ll find the right one faster: but it’s much less likely that you’ll get to really know Barry and…