Why do we hate unexceptional, unintellectual, and unambitious women so much?

Since when did we all need to be girlboss superbabes?

I wrote, recently, with how I was perfectly okay with women deciding that they actually didn’t want to have careers or big ambitions, so long as they were aware of the risks and anticipated the financial consequences of being a ‘traditional’ housewife. To my surprise, this was extremely controversial. Not among men, interestingly, but among women.

Apparently, it is insulting or even offensive to suggest that a woman doesn’t have to change the world, and can choose a largely quiet, easier, private, and inconsequential life. To believe she’s not devalued or shameful for not being an intellectual or girlboss. To say that it’s okay for a woman who realises she’s going to flunk or struggle to hold down a job to just opt out and focus on keeping a nice home with clean kids. I view this as the worrying internalised misogyny of nineties feminism: the idea that you can’t just be a normal human being doing normal, everyday, unexceptional stuff as a woman, but you have to be exceptional, world-changing, awe-inspiring, and impressive.

A woman is not allowed to be unremarkable.

A woman is not allowed to just shrug and say, ‘actually, I don’t have it in me to run an international company, I’m not driven enough and I don’t really want that. I just want to get up at 10am, choose some nice pillows, and clean the kitchen before my…