Why he isn’t texting you

The definitive, illustrated list of why he hasn’t texted you back

Lists are fun and distracting from the eternal angst of the human condition. It’s probably 6 though.

  1. He’s watching football. No seriously, check if there is a match on. I’m not being sexist. Or if he’s a rugby guy, check that. He’ll be to engrossed to respond to your ‘heyyyy wuu2’
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Definitely your boyfriend

2. He’s asleep. If it’s late, he might be asleep, merrily prancing through slumberland. Unconsciousness is a decent excuse.

Not a very interesting dream, Dave

3. He’s playing the video computing games. Again, you could call me sexist for this, but a lot of guys definitely play on the x box. He’s not going to text back to your ‘soooo bored’ mid zombie slaying romp.

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No seriously, he’s having fun

4. He’s out with the fam/brethren/weird boy gang who get awkward when you say you don’t know who Rooney is. If he’s out with his gang he’s not going to be staring at his phone.

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This is what imagine boy hangouts involve

5. He’s working. Or studying. Weird.

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No. No. Don’t imagine that. Stop. He’s working.

6. He doesn’t like you

Sorry.

7. You are texting really, really boring things.

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This is you and this is me desperately avoiding you

8. He’s got a girlfriend/wife and you’re freaking him out

Tone it down or lose him forever

9. He’s just busy, chill out

A facebook argument counts as busy

10. He didn’t see your message. If his inbox is anything like mine, it’s a disorganised mess and I can take days to respond even if I love your socks off

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Unless it’s a picture of you topless. He definitely saw that.

Written by

24 year old with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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