Why I don’t hate incels: or the manosphere

Sure, their content is racist, sexist, and silly. But it is also sad

“How many men have you slept with?” a close male friend asks, smirking at his phone. Weird question, but ok. The answer is boring: I’m a serial no-casual-sex monogamist. He grins at me, tutting. “According to the manosphere, you’re a liar and you’ve had sex with hundreds of men every month for ten years.”

“Me?” I ask incredulously. “I’m not sure I have time.”

“Women under 200lb and above a 5/10,” he reads, “sleep with hundreds of men every month because they can. Think about all of the DMs and how many men hit on them every day in the street. They’re whores. They don’t deserve respect. Don’t simp.” He points. “See, that’s you.” We both start laughing. Ok, sure. It’s funny. The absurdity is funny.

“I mean, they’re confusing can with will,” I say eventually. “Just because you can have sex with Barry the toothless builder from Clapham and all his cousins doesn’t mean you’re going to. Unless that’s your thing.”