Member-only story
Why I’m Not Dating
Because it’s something I should be doing, apparently
“But you look great,” a friend protests to me as I shrug at him. “You’re young, you’re pretty, you’re smart…you could date anyone you wanted.” No darlings, I couldn’t. I really couldn’t. And if I’m brutal, I really, desperately don’t want to. Not now, anyway.
Because I don’t hate being single.
I’m just not one to settle. Never have been. There’s hundreds, thousands of okay men I could possibly ‘see how it goes’ with, but that’s about as appealing as reading the back of every yoghurt in Sainsbury’s to see which one has the most protein. I don’t want to force myself to like someone. I don’t want to hurt someone because they are wonderfully, affably, indifferently fine. I’ve done that. I’ve dated the charming, handsome guy in finance who was kind to me and I felt absolutely zilch for after two months of telling myself love would come (it didn’t).
Unless I feel immediate interest, attraction, and yes, excitement, I’m not going to bother to date anyone. As I’ve got older, I’ve learnt a few things about love and dating;
- You can’t will yourself to love someone
- You can’t change your needs or boundaries for someone
- You shouldn’t waste time on the wrong person
