Why ‘traditional’ gender ideals in relationships will always fail

What’s the attraction of traditional gender ideals and why do they never live up to expectations?

Author’s note: I’m going to talk about heterosexual roles and attraction here because discussing queer/homo/asexual/aromantic/transgender dynamics in every paragraph will send me up the wall and through the ceiling. LGBTQ+ relationships exist and are valid, beautiful, and worthy etc.

I met the most masculine, brilliant man. Something I craved in the most primal flutters of my feminine heart. Intelligent, well-educated, powerful, wise, patient, strong and passionately determined, I was swept off my feet. This man had me in a way no one ever had: instantaneously. It wasn’t just physical: I felt incredibly safe with him. Secure. Wanted. For the first time since my heart had been broken a year before, I felt as though I could exhale. As a feminist, this wasn’t, and isn’t, easy to admit, but in him, I had found what I dreamt was possible in a man: safety.