Member-only story
Why your ex ‘tumble dries’ through new women after you (or men)
Why avoidants always end up running from bed to bed
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: someone leaves someone for no obvious reason, gets in a new relationship almost instantly, and that doesn’t work out. And then he (or she) leaves them for no obvious reason, gets in a new relationship almost instantly, and then that doesn’t work out. And then he (or she) leaves them for no obvious reason, gets in a new relationship almost instantly, and-
It’s easy to think that the person who did this to you is just a cold, horrible person who never cared about you and didn’t ever feel lonely or sad after leaving you. But that’s probably not true. What they have got a really unhealthy coping mechanism: burying all that pain, running away from it, and trying to latch on to a new ‘you’ to avoid reflecting on what went wrong, and how much it hurts. Believe me: you are not the first or the last person they will do this to.
In fact, I fully expect them to pop up in a few months when the latest infatuation has failed, liking your Instagram story, bemoaning the fact that they really miss you, the new person wasn’t right for them, and they made a mistake (before disappearing again). Because they’ve never actually sat down and done what you, me, or any healthy person would do…
