Women don’t like bad boys: they just get manipulated and lied to

No abuser starts off treating his girlfriend appallingly

Women, dear sirs, are not usually stupid. If a man, on a first date, opened with his intent to slap me across the face, ignore me for days, cheat, sneer at my interests, try to sleep with my friends, or smash my phone in a jealous rage, of course I wouldn’t date him. No woman would. That sounds horrible. I would obviously immediately walk out on any man who started a relationship with bullying me, hitting me, or hiding my passport. That’s obviously a horrible person. The ‘bad boys’ you describe so routinely to us aren’t men we’d ever want. They are just the men who pretended to be someone kind, loving, and reliable until we fell in love with them.

Never underestimate how insidious and two-faced an abuser can be

Yes: we like confident men. Self assured men. Men with clear goals, ambitions, self worth, and interests. You might think you’re “just a nice guy” but if you’re quiet, dull, and reeking of insecurity, of course you’re always going to lose out to Gary who turned up with a cool scar regaling us with tales of his wild adventures as a safari guide. The same is absolutely true for men: the charming, outgoing, self confident woman will always get more admiration than the shy, boring, anxious, dull woman in the corner. You see Gary as a bad guy for being so relaxed and effortless…