You really don’t want that man (or woman) who doesn’t want you

Think about the person they are, not the person you wish they were

It sucks when someone does not like you back. It’s really horrible. There’s just no getting around the feeling that if you were just a bit prettier, a bit older, a bit younger, a bit more glamorous, or a bit less you, then you’d be ‘good’ enough. I’m not here to gaslight you about any of that. What I am here to say, honestly, is that you really don’t want that person and you’re much better off without them, no matter how fabulous and perfect for them you think they are.

Why?

However much you romanticise them: you don’t want a cold, unloving partner

Because of one simple thing: they didn’t choose you. They don’t want to be with you. They don’t see a future with you. Stop fantasising about a version of them where they want you again. Stop imagining a version of them that does want you. That doesn’t exist, in the same way there isn’t a six foot five version of them, a purple-haired version of them, or a version where they’re a Spanish lion tamer. The only version of them that exists, the only version on this planet, is the one that doesn’t like you, want to speak with you, or want to see you. That’s it. If that hurts to hear, it’ll hurt you a lot less than deluding yourself into a fantasy where that’s not the case.