You want ‘Natural Beauty’? At least be honest about it

Clear skin and flawless curls are fake too, guys

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I’m wearing dark plum lipstick and my new pearl highlighter. I feel amazing. Vampire chic, hard, cold features. A metaphor for power and youth. Damn, I like my reflection.

Someone inevitably tries to backhand me with a ‘I prefer you without make up’. I am surprised that they think I care. This isn’t about them. This isn’t even about their preferences. This is about me representing my emotions and desires on my face.

Even then, guys who virtue signal about natural beauty annoy the hell out of me. No, no you don’t love natural beauty. You love chemical skin peels, subtle eyelash extensions, micro bladed eyebrows and botox. I know what a girl looks like naturally, and let me tell you, candid celebrity ‘natural beauty' is a total lie.

If you love natural beauty, get used to break outs. If you love natural beauty, get used to under eye shadows. If you love natural beauty, get used to scars and acne marks. If you love natural beauty, get used to pimples and moles with hair. If you love natural beauty, get used to frizzy, thin hair. If you love natural beauty, get used to monobrows and no eyelashes. You don’t love natural beauty. You just love telling women not to appear too sexual or happy with themselves.

OK cool, you don’t like the cake effect. The big pink lips do nothing for you. Finding a row of fake eyelashes in the bathroom freaked you out. Cool! Cool. We all have looks we don’t like. I hate 1920s brows. Soz.

But you have to be honest about what it is you are criticising. You can’t say you love natural beauty and then act surprised when women don’t want to walk around showing off acne, red skin and crazy eyebrows. Please, please stop telling us what to do because it is hypocritical and largely virtue signalling. If we want to mess around and celebrate our self expression, however silly our wigs or septum piercings look to you, let us.

Because we have to inhabit our bodies. Not you.

Anthropologist with an awful lot to say about everything. Opinions entirely my own. Usually. madelaine@madelainehanson.co.uk

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